In spring time, the only pretty ring time,
When birds do sing, hey ding a ding a ding;
Sweet lovers love the spring!
That is a clip from a poem called "A Lover and His Lass" by William Shakespeare. However, I discovered it from watching the original "Willy Wonka," many years ago during the scene where Gene Wilder is peddling his bike in the room with the Everlasting Gobstoppers. I don't know why his pretty little sing-song tune has always stuck with me, but I just love singing it as springtime approaches. I hope I haven't started singing too early ... because it certainly looks as though spring may have sprung in Chicago!!
********************
This week has been such a busy one for me and it won't let up for a bit of time. I love love love all of the things I'm doing, but I feel a major desire for some rest! I was out of the state this past weekend, came home to prepare for our important out of town guest, hung out with him for the past few days which was so much fun I'm sad its over, I'm working all day today and tomorrow, attending a grand opening tonight for my cousin's new health center in Orland Park, Friday I have two important meetings after work that will consume the evening, Saturday I give two lectures to young prospective business students about goals, Saturday night I get to take care of two sets of client work, one being a video creation I know very little about so I get to teach myself things, woo hoo! Sunday (daylight savings time!) I get to work from 8am to 5pm at the Home and Housewares Show downtown, same thing Monday and Tuesday, back to work Wednesday through Friday, a super duper important event next Saturday, and then SUNDAY I will get to rest. I think. I hope. WOO! What a stretch and boy am I pooped. I pray I don't wear myself out and can still manage to get my workouts in among all of that craziness. Only 52 days until I leave. I'm so excited I can't even stand it!!!!!!
Spring weather keeps me pleasant. Chocolate would do a better job, but that's out of the picture for the next 10 weeks. Miss USA, ready or not, here I come!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Spring Cleaning Comes Early
As a recent graduate from the University of Illinois, but a woman who is passionately entailed with the dream of becoming the next Miss USA, I have to admit … I still live with my parents. Some may see this as negative, but in fact … it’s marvelous. Actually, it’s so good that I don’t really want to leave! OK, that’s not true. I’m dying for my own place. But lets put the emphasis on how wonderful living at home is for now, and talk about my future aspirations later.
My fantastic mother keeps a very clean house, but over the past few days as we’ve been preparing for a few out of town guests to visit, we’ve been cleaning Danny-Tanner-style around here. I mean … I think I evened vacuumed the underside of rugs. My dad polished the knobs on the stove and dusted in the garage. My mom cleaned the laundry room so well that it looks like it could be a contender for the Good Housekeeping Magazine! I’m telling you – it’s been a cleaning madhouse around here. And for how clean our house usually is, I’m surprised at how much of an improvement this was!
Anyway … now that the house is in mint condition, I think my poor mother feels a little bit better. Tip for all the kids reading this: Making momma happy is a good thing. Take that for what it is and believe it with all your heart boys and girls. As the saying goes, “If momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy!” Hate it break it to you folks, but it’s soooo true. And if your mom is anything like mine, then she must also be the most amazing woman in the world. My mom has jumped through hoops of blazing fire for me over the past few months. She will bend over backwards and twist inside out to help me, and I have no idea on the planet earth how I will ever in a hundred thousand million years repay her in the way she deserves. Do any of you ever feel that way? Finding a way to repay someone who has given her heart and soul to helping you? It’s a tough battle to find a solution, but I’m sure it can be done. Like the nice man who helped me with my suitcase proved, a small kind gesture can go a super long way!
I tried some new cardio workouts this week, which I will share with you soooooon! I’m officially at 55 days until I board the flight to Vegas so its mega crunch time. My magnificent trainer Toni gave me a new eating regimen to follow, and it looks like it’s going to be suuuuper tough, but I know I can do it. As my other trainer, Josh, put it … “You can do anything for 55 days!” And that’s exactly right!
Miss USA Pageant … here I come with my body in check, whether I like it or not!! Yahoo!
My fantastic mother keeps a very clean house, but over the past few days as we’ve been preparing for a few out of town guests to visit, we’ve been cleaning Danny-Tanner-style around here. I mean … I think I evened vacuumed the underside of rugs. My dad polished the knobs on the stove and dusted in the garage. My mom cleaned the laundry room so well that it looks like it could be a contender for the Good Housekeeping Magazine! I’m telling you – it’s been a cleaning madhouse around here. And for how clean our house usually is, I’m surprised at how much of an improvement this was!
Anyway … now that the house is in mint condition, I think my poor mother feels a little bit better. Tip for all the kids reading this: Making momma happy is a good thing. Take that for what it is and believe it with all your heart boys and girls. As the saying goes, “If momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy!” Hate it break it to you folks, but it’s soooo true. And if your mom is anything like mine, then she must also be the most amazing woman in the world. My mom has jumped through hoops of blazing fire for me over the past few months. She will bend over backwards and twist inside out to help me, and I have no idea on the planet earth how I will ever in a hundred thousand million years repay her in the way she deserves. Do any of you ever feel that way? Finding a way to repay someone who has given her heart and soul to helping you? It’s a tough battle to find a solution, but I’m sure it can be done. Like the nice man who helped me with my suitcase proved, a small kind gesture can go a super long way!
I tried some new cardio workouts this week, which I will share with you soooooon! I’m officially at 55 days until I board the flight to Vegas so its mega crunch time. My magnificent trainer Toni gave me a new eating regimen to follow, and it looks like it’s going to be suuuuper tough, but I know I can do it. As my other trainer, Josh, put it … “You can do anything for 55 days!” And that’s exactly right!
Miss USA Pageant … here I come with my body in check, whether I like it or not!! Yahoo!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Mr. Nice Guy
I had a bit of a rough week last week. Seriously, nothing seemed to be going right, everything was hitting at once, and by Thursday … I most definitely cracked. During work on Friday I was a zombie. I couldn’t focus on the jobs I had to finish and I couldn’t think about my day. All I wanted was to be at home or with a friend. It was terrible, but the worst part was – nothing was making it better! I tried thinking happy thoughts. I tried calling my mom to talk it out. I even tried *dun dun dun* eating chocolate!!! My number one no-no, but number one stress killer! Even that didn’t help. Sleep was the only thing I hadn’t tried, but the chairs in our office aren’t that comfortable.
Anyway …
Friday evening as my train was pulling into the 143rd street station where I stood waiting to exit, I waited contently, ready to get home so I could let out the tears in the privacy of my own bedroom. I didn’t wear the negativity on my face, but inside I felt like screaming. Just as the train doors were about to open, a nice older man noticed the heavy suitcase I had lugged with me to work that day. Kindly, he said, “Excuse me, I would be happy to lift that down off the train for you if you’d like.” It was a very nice and unnecessary gesture that came completely out of nowhere. However, that one kind gesture made me smile bigger and longer than I had smiled all the days that week. Just one kind act from a stranger brightened my spirits and made me remember all of the goodness around me. It helped to remind me that life really isn’t that bad when you look at the big picture. My petty little problems that had been ruining my week were not all that important, and in fact, there are people all over the place who are there for me – even strangers!! As I got off the train, I thanked him sincerely and smiled all the way to my car. ☺
My lesson to you is this – never undervalue someone. You don’t know what he or she has been through, or how he or she is feeling. Please do your part to bring a smile to others, because you never know the incredible impact it could have on them. It certainly did for me! It was effortless for that man to life my suitcase off the train, and I totally could have managed it myself. However, it was kind, and I appreciated it.
So thanks, Mr. Nice Guy. I wish I knew your name so I can tell you how you turned my dreary evening into a lovely one. Instead, I’ll pay it forward. How does that sound?
Anyway …
Friday evening as my train was pulling into the 143rd street station where I stood waiting to exit, I waited contently, ready to get home so I could let out the tears in the privacy of my own bedroom. I didn’t wear the negativity on my face, but inside I felt like screaming. Just as the train doors were about to open, a nice older man noticed the heavy suitcase I had lugged with me to work that day. Kindly, he said, “Excuse me, I would be happy to lift that down off the train for you if you’d like.” It was a very nice and unnecessary gesture that came completely out of nowhere. However, that one kind gesture made me smile bigger and longer than I had smiled all the days that week. Just one kind act from a stranger brightened my spirits and made me remember all of the goodness around me. It helped to remind me that life really isn’t that bad when you look at the big picture. My petty little problems that had been ruining my week were not all that important, and in fact, there are people all over the place who are there for me – even strangers!! As I got off the train, I thanked him sincerely and smiled all the way to my car. ☺
My lesson to you is this – never undervalue someone. You don’t know what he or she has been through, or how he or she is feeling. Please do your part to bring a smile to others, because you never know the incredible impact it could have on them. It certainly did for me! It was effortless for that man to life my suitcase off the train, and I totally could have managed it myself. However, it was kind, and I appreciated it.
So thanks, Mr. Nice Guy. I wish I knew your name so I can tell you how you turned my dreary evening into a lovely one. Instead, I’ll pay it forward. How does that sound?
Friday, March 5, 2010
Miss USA Contestant Pictures Posted
Head shots of the 51 contestants vying for the title of Miss USA are up at www.missusa.com! Rate the girls and look for your favorites!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
It's 15 Degrees, Lets Jump Into Lake Michigan!
Saturday afternoon Lexi and I did something we never dreamed we would. We journeyed afar, trekking through mounds of cold, toe-numbing slush, mountains of white frosty snow, fearlessly battling the powerful Midwestern winds against our cheeks and the sub-zero temperatures, all while styling our teeny weeny bikinis.
OK well, it may not have gone juuuuust like that. But we did jump into Lake Michigan at the end of February. I guess if anything you could call us "nuts," instead of "adventurous!" :)
Helping to raise money for the Special Olympics, Lexi and I bared all as we entered the water. With a running start, we splashed the way up to our waists before losing all feeling in our bodies. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought since I couldn't feel anything! Aboooouuuuut ... 2 seconds later I was completely wet and was now being splashed by the other plungers. I decided to make a run straight to the heated tent to take my soaking, freezing shoes off! Sticking on some warmer (and dryer) boots, Lexi and I then posed for pictures on the beach. I think the worst part was not actually being in the icy water (yes, there was ice where we were), but standing next to it with the wind against us while we tried to smile in our swimsuits wondering "WHY AM I OUTSIDE IN FEBRUARY IN MY SWIMSUIT!?" Oh yes, for a good cause. That's right!
It was a wonderful experience, and with over 200 plungers in attendance I realized just how important the Special Olympics truly are and how much it means to people. I hope very much to be able to get involved more in this amazing cause ... but perhaps not in my swimsuit again until at least May 1st!
OK well, it may not have gone juuuuust like that. But we did jump into Lake Michigan at the end of February. I guess if anything you could call us "nuts," instead of "adventurous!" :)
Helping to raise money for the Special Olympics, Lexi and I bared all as we entered the water. With a running start, we splashed the way up to our waists before losing all feeling in our bodies. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought since I couldn't feel anything! Aboooouuuuut ... 2 seconds later I was completely wet and was now being splashed by the other plungers. I decided to make a run straight to the heated tent to take my soaking, freezing shoes off! Sticking on some warmer (and dryer) boots, Lexi and I then posed for pictures on the beach. I think the worst part was not actually being in the icy water (yes, there was ice where we were), but standing next to it with the wind against us while we tried to smile in our swimsuits wondering "WHY AM I OUTSIDE IN FEBRUARY IN MY SWIMSUIT!?" Oh yes, for a good cause. That's right!
It was a wonderful experience, and with over 200 plungers in attendance I realized just how important the Special Olympics truly are and how much it means to people. I hope very much to be able to get involved more in this amazing cause ... but perhaps not in my swimsuit again until at least May 1st!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Message
At work we have a "stress-be-gone" bowl that is filled with candies or chocolates of some sort. Today there were Dove chocolates, and although the good half of me said, "No Ashley ... leave them there. It's not worth it," the baaaaad half of me said, "Ashley you NEED that chocolate. If you don't have it you'll die. EAT it Ashley ... EAT IT!!!"
So I took one.
But I opened it up, and it had a little message inside (as they usually do). My message was "Keep the promises you make to yourself." AH!!! I promised myself I wouldn't eat JUNK until after the Miss USA Pageant! And Dove KNOOOOWWS! So obviously I couldn't eat it in fear that Dove might tell the judges about my overpowering lack of self-control. YIKES. So I taped the foil wrapper to my desk so I will always be reminded. We leave in two months, this is no time to mess around, Temptation! What the heck?!
So I took one.
But I opened it up, and it had a little message inside (as they usually do). My message was "Keep the promises you make to yourself." AH!!! I promised myself I wouldn't eat JUNK until after the Miss USA Pageant! And Dove KNOOOOWWS! So obviously I couldn't eat it in fear that Dove might tell the judges about my overpowering lack of self-control. YIKES. So I taped the foil wrapper to my desk so I will always be reminded. We leave in two months, this is no time to mess around, Temptation! What the heck?!
Monday, February 22, 2010
The Butterfly Effect
Mahatma Ghandhi once said, "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."
Sometimes I think about the steps that led me to where I am today. I think about how different my life may have been had I done even just one little thing differently. Perhaps you've heard about the Butterfly Effect. According to Wikipedia, "The butterfly effect is a metaphor that encapsulates the concept of sensitive dependence on initial conditions in chaos theory; namely that small differences in the initial condition of a dynamical system may produce large variations in the long term behavior of the system." In layman's terms, it means that even the smallest occurrences could have a big impact on the future: The butterfly effect -- the idea that a butterfly flapping its wings in South America can affect the weather in Central Park.
Why is this important to me today?
I am very focused on being as prepared as I possibly can be at the Miss USA Pageant that is to come about in May. In addition to that however, I am very dedicated to the other obligations and responsibilities that make up my daily life. I care about my full time job as an art director and graphic designer at Robinson & Maites, I still hold a passion for my private work as an artist including my piano and harp performances, modeling, acting, photography, hand-made book binding and crafting, and more. I still itch to be involved in volunteering and getting children more involved in the arts, and I still have a very competitive drive in sports and fitness related things. I wish to network more, I wish to increase my overall knowledge about politics and the world, I wish to further develop my speaking in Italian, I wish so many things! There is just so much to this world, and I want so very badly to taste every part of it. But all of this thinking makes me wonder: "How the heck did I get here?"
How did I get on this road to Vegas for the Miss USA Pageant? How did I get so lucky to earn the job I have, working for the most wonderful boss in the world who is completely 100% understanding of this once in a lifetime opportunity? How did I get such a wonderful, loving and supporting family who wants nothing but the world for me and will be there for me no matter what? How have I tried and accomplished so many things thus far in my life that have completely shaped me, and how does my drive to try even more stay fueled? It's mind-boggling for me to think about the steps I've taken to get here and how it all falls right into place. It's kind of crazy! I was always an athlete, a musician, an artist, and a bit of a goody-two-shoes, over-achiever type of girl. Until about 2008, I had never even watched a beauty pageant let alone compete in one or know anything about them what-so-ever. But watch how the butterfly effect worked to get me here ...
1. Somehow, I got into the Accounting Program at one of the top 5 accounting schools in the nation -- the University of Illniois at Urbana-Champaign. When I got there and decided within a week that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with accounting, I switched into an art program where I knew I'd make less money, but would be more happy. It was this program that taught me what it really means to be hard working, disciplined and organized -- a trait I NEED for the job of Miss USA, should I be so lucky to get it. It was lucky too, that I was attending a big university that would accommodate both areas of study for an easy switch.
2. During this time, I met a boy I would go on to date for two years -- Mark. Mark taught me to care about my self-image; to not follow suit of the other girls that posted drunk pictures on facebook or did other things that might hinder their image. He taught me to always carry myself as well as I would if I were meeting the president of the United States or any other important figure. He made it clear that if I never said anything bad, then I wouldn't have to whisper. Without this, I may not have as clean a background, who knows?! And maybe I wouldn't be Miss Illinois USA.
3. Mark loved fish and owned a very large fish tank. One day he was browsing through fish forums online when he met Steve. Steve lived in Champaign as well, and the two decided to meet, talk fish talk, and become friends. As I continued in my art program, I decided I needed a job. Mark remembered Steve worked on campus and asked him to get me an interview. Steve succeeded. I interviewed for a position in a computer lab, making sure no one brought food or drinks by the computers and refilling the paper in the printers should they run out of it. I worked there for half a day when my new boss discovered I was an artist. He remembered that ATLAS, the web development part of that office, was looking for a new designer for their websites and decided to pass his new employee (me) over to them for a better position. After an interview, I got the job.
4. As the new web designer for ATLAS, I met Adam who worked there as well. Adam was in the art school at the U of I just like me, and we both found it odd that in such a tiny program, we never met. But alas, we fell in love. Mark and I broke up. And I began a whole new chapter of learning. However, Mark was crucial because not only did he ultimately lead me to Adam, but he also taught me so much about my self-image, which would later help me to best portray my true self as Miss Illinois USA.
5. While we were dating, Adam's sister randomly decided to send his picture to a modeling agency in Chicago. Adam got a contract. Adam's modeling career took off and I began to think, "Hmmm ... I wonder if I could do that too." So I tried, since one thing I will forever and for always believe is, "You won't know until you try." I got a contract as well, and life began to blossom as it never had before. All the while, however, I continued to study hard and tried to learn web coding as much as possible so I could someday advance in my job at ATLAS and be more than just the design-girl.
6. Then I studied abroad and spent all my money. When I returned from Europe I was desperate to earn back some dollars and start up my savings again. Not sure what I wanted to do, I went to Craigslist. I saw an add for a scholarship program for Miss America. Interested only because I had recently gotten involved in modeling (thanks to Adam's influence), I decided to explore it further. I ended up sending my information off to the Miss Illinois USA Pageant, and within a weeks time I was contacted for an interview.
7. The next thing I know, I'm the 2nd runner up at Miss Illinois USA. With my competitive nature kicking in more than ever, I was determined to go back and win the next year. And with a crazy-ton of hard work, I did.
8. So if I hadn't changed majors, if I hadn't met Mark, if I hadn't wanted a job, if I hadn't met Adam, if I hadn't been adventurous, if I hadn't spent all my money abroad, if I hadn't thought of Craigslist, if I hadn't had the modeling experience and confidence, and if I hadn't run across the add for Miss America, I never would have been here. Its just so strange how everything fell into place and it makes me truly believe that everything happens for a reason.
But what does this have to do with what Gandhi said? "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it." Because I'm working SOOOOO hard, but what I'm doing can be considered insignificant. In 100 years, will it matter that I made websites? Will it matter than I got in a swimsuit in front of millions of people? Will it matter than I haven't had chocolate in weeks? No. It really won't. But it's important that I do it anyway, because this is my life. This is what will influence lives for the future. Everything I do, everywhere I am, will undoubtedly have some little effect on something else, even if its as simple as causing someone to spend ten minutes of their life reading this blog post instead of something else. Those sorts of things certainly happened for me. I mean come on ... if Mark didn't like fish, I wouldn't be Miss Illinois USA! That's pretty crazy to think about.
There are about 10 hundred million other crazy coincidences that have made me who I am today and I can get emotional thinking about it all. It's as if I was meant to be here ... as if I was made for this life. Does anyone else ever feel that way? Isn't it just so strange?! I love it!! I wouldn't want anything other than what I have right now, and for that reason alone, I'm going to give the Miss USA Pageant my absolute best shot. Insignificant or not, it's important to ME, and the development of who I am, and that's pretty significant.
Happy Monday, everyone. :)
Sometimes I think about the steps that led me to where I am today. I think about how different my life may have been had I done even just one little thing differently. Perhaps you've heard about the Butterfly Effect. According to Wikipedia, "The butterfly effect is a metaphor that encapsulates the concept of sensitive dependence on initial conditions in chaos theory; namely that small differences in the initial condition of a dynamical system may produce large variations in the long term behavior of the system." In layman's terms, it means that even the smallest occurrences could have a big impact on the future: The butterfly effect -- the idea that a butterfly flapping its wings in South America can affect the weather in Central Park.
Why is this important to me today?
I am very focused on being as prepared as I possibly can be at the Miss USA Pageant that is to come about in May. In addition to that however, I am very dedicated to the other obligations and responsibilities that make up my daily life. I care about my full time job as an art director and graphic designer at Robinson & Maites, I still hold a passion for my private work as an artist including my piano and harp performances, modeling, acting, photography, hand-made book binding and crafting, and more. I still itch to be involved in volunteering and getting children more involved in the arts, and I still have a very competitive drive in sports and fitness related things. I wish to network more, I wish to increase my overall knowledge about politics and the world, I wish to further develop my speaking in Italian, I wish so many things! There is just so much to this world, and I want so very badly to taste every part of it. But all of this thinking makes me wonder: "How the heck did I get here?"
How did I get on this road to Vegas for the Miss USA Pageant? How did I get so lucky to earn the job I have, working for the most wonderful boss in the world who is completely 100% understanding of this once in a lifetime opportunity? How did I get such a wonderful, loving and supporting family who wants nothing but the world for me and will be there for me no matter what? How have I tried and accomplished so many things thus far in my life that have completely shaped me, and how does my drive to try even more stay fueled? It's mind-boggling for me to think about the steps I've taken to get here and how it all falls right into place. It's kind of crazy! I was always an athlete, a musician, an artist, and a bit of a goody-two-shoes, over-achiever type of girl. Until about 2008, I had never even watched a beauty pageant let alone compete in one or know anything about them what-so-ever. But watch how the butterfly effect worked to get me here ...
1. Somehow, I got into the Accounting Program at one of the top 5 accounting schools in the nation -- the University of Illniois at Urbana-Champaign. When I got there and decided within a week that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with accounting, I switched into an art program where I knew I'd make less money, but would be more happy. It was this program that taught me what it really means to be hard working, disciplined and organized -- a trait I NEED for the job of Miss USA, should I be so lucky to get it. It was lucky too, that I was attending a big university that would accommodate both areas of study for an easy switch.
2. During this time, I met a boy I would go on to date for two years -- Mark. Mark taught me to care about my self-image; to not follow suit of the other girls that posted drunk pictures on facebook or did other things that might hinder their image. He taught me to always carry myself as well as I would if I were meeting the president of the United States or any other important figure. He made it clear that if I never said anything bad, then I wouldn't have to whisper. Without this, I may not have as clean a background, who knows?! And maybe I wouldn't be Miss Illinois USA.
3. Mark loved fish and owned a very large fish tank. One day he was browsing through fish forums online when he met Steve. Steve lived in Champaign as well, and the two decided to meet, talk fish talk, and become friends. As I continued in my art program, I decided I needed a job. Mark remembered Steve worked on campus and asked him to get me an interview. Steve succeeded. I interviewed for a position in a computer lab, making sure no one brought food or drinks by the computers and refilling the paper in the printers should they run out of it. I worked there for half a day when my new boss discovered I was an artist. He remembered that ATLAS, the web development part of that office, was looking for a new designer for their websites and decided to pass his new employee (me) over to them for a better position. After an interview, I got the job.
4. As the new web designer for ATLAS, I met Adam who worked there as well. Adam was in the art school at the U of I just like me, and we both found it odd that in such a tiny program, we never met. But alas, we fell in love. Mark and I broke up. And I began a whole new chapter of learning. However, Mark was crucial because not only did he ultimately lead me to Adam, but he also taught me so much about my self-image, which would later help me to best portray my true self as Miss Illinois USA.
5. While we were dating, Adam's sister randomly decided to send his picture to a modeling agency in Chicago. Adam got a contract. Adam's modeling career took off and I began to think, "Hmmm ... I wonder if I could do that too." So I tried, since one thing I will forever and for always believe is, "You won't know until you try." I got a contract as well, and life began to blossom as it never had before. All the while, however, I continued to study hard and tried to learn web coding as much as possible so I could someday advance in my job at ATLAS and be more than just the design-girl.
6. Then I studied abroad and spent all my money. When I returned from Europe I was desperate to earn back some dollars and start up my savings again. Not sure what I wanted to do, I went to Craigslist. I saw an add for a scholarship program for Miss America. Interested only because I had recently gotten involved in modeling (thanks to Adam's influence), I decided to explore it further. I ended up sending my information off to the Miss Illinois USA Pageant, and within a weeks time I was contacted for an interview.
7. The next thing I know, I'm the 2nd runner up at Miss Illinois USA. With my competitive nature kicking in more than ever, I was determined to go back and win the next year. And with a crazy-ton of hard work, I did.
8. So if I hadn't changed majors, if I hadn't met Mark, if I hadn't wanted a job, if I hadn't met Adam, if I hadn't been adventurous, if I hadn't spent all my money abroad, if I hadn't thought of Craigslist, if I hadn't had the modeling experience and confidence, and if I hadn't run across the add for Miss America, I never would have been here. Its just so strange how everything fell into place and it makes me truly believe that everything happens for a reason.
But what does this have to do with what Gandhi said? "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it." Because I'm working SOOOOO hard, but what I'm doing can be considered insignificant. In 100 years, will it matter that I made websites? Will it matter than I got in a swimsuit in front of millions of people? Will it matter than I haven't had chocolate in weeks? No. It really won't. But it's important that I do it anyway, because this is my life. This is what will influence lives for the future. Everything I do, everywhere I am, will undoubtedly have some little effect on something else, even if its as simple as causing someone to spend ten minutes of their life reading this blog post instead of something else. Those sorts of things certainly happened for me. I mean come on ... if Mark didn't like fish, I wouldn't be Miss Illinois USA! That's pretty crazy to think about.
There are about 10 hundred million other crazy coincidences that have made me who I am today and I can get emotional thinking about it all. It's as if I was meant to be here ... as if I was made for this life. Does anyone else ever feel that way? Isn't it just so strange?! I love it!! I wouldn't want anything other than what I have right now, and for that reason alone, I'm going to give the Miss USA Pageant my absolute best shot. Insignificant or not, it's important to ME, and the development of who I am, and that's pretty significant.
Happy Monday, everyone. :)
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